Saturday, December 8, 2012

Room 3531

One of my dear friends Jordan Sherrod wrote a blog post on his visit to see me in the hospital and it touched me so deeply so I thought I would share it with you.           

         I and my friends, Rebekah and Brayden, stood in the hall of the ER building outside of room 3531. It was Wednesday, October the 10th in the year of our Lord, two-thousand and twelve. Behind the closed door of room 3531 lay our very dear friend Hannah Middleton, who was in an extreme amount of pain. It was 8:45 in the A.M. so the white-walled hospital was beginning to come alive. Nurses scuttled here and there, doctors began their check-ups on patients, and patients awoke to the hope of a new day. Our dear friend Hannah was one such patient. The previous night had been a restless one for her due to her great pain, so she eagerly welcomed a new morning. This day was great for today was the day she might be able to go home. This greatly excited her, for the hospital is not a very homely- or personal- place.

            We three friends had come to encourage, support, and pray for our dear friend. The hall was our place of awaiting, for the nurses were making Hannah presentable (not that we cared, but I’m sure it made her feel clean). Unfortunately, this “presentable process” presented much more pain in addition to the much more cleanliness and therefore took some time. But to me- as to my accomplices, I’m sure- the wait was well worth the support we gave and the inspiration we received. Before going in, we spoke with Hannah’s father for quite some time. We discussed God’s faithfulness, Mr. Middleton’s rest, and Hannah’s injury. It as a good conversation.
            To be quite frank, I was not sure how to enter room 3531. But the Lord guided me in what I ought to do and say. The nurse came out presently and told us that Hannah was now able to see visitors. I and my friends hesitated a moment and then entered room 3531. Flowers lay on the table next to her hospital bed. Beautiful yellow and pink flowers. They were a part of the select few items in the vicinity that brought life to the room. She lay there, my friend Hannah, covered in a white hospital sheet and crying; crying from the mighty pain of her injury. Seeing and hearing her crying was hard. Sometimes seeing a dear friend in pain is harder than being in pain yourself. Poor girl. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t ease her pain. But I could encourage and pray. My wise companion, Rebekah, moved closest to our distressed friend. With comforting words she encouraged Hannah and affirmed her of her love and support. During the course of that conversation Hannah stopped crying. Thankfully our presence was becoming a distraction from the mighty pain. It seemed as if we could just look at her and she knew we loved and cared for her. Words were not needed. Jesus and our common love for Him bound us all together in room 3531. It was beautiful.
            Indeed, not only was the moment beautiful, but so was she. Her character and the Spirit of the Lord in her were shining ever so bright in this very weak moment of her momentary life. I was blown away by the determination and perseverance that radiated from her weak body and beautiful face. It encouraged me very much. Often those with the intent of encouraging and inspiring become encouraged and inspired themselves. The Blesser becomes the blessed.
            “I’m in so much pain” she whispered. We all stared at each other for a few moments, then slowly, words began to come to my head. “I’m so very glad you’re alive” I said as tears now rolled down my own cheeks. She nodded and replied, “God is good”. To that reply I can make no argument. I found it incredible that someone in this much pain could say such affirming truths; and even though she knew much truth she still hungered for more! I read to her James 1:2-3, which says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance”. She nodded and began crying, “I never understood what that meant till now”, she said. She asked us what else we had been reading in Scripture and we told her. Her eyes brightened as she took in the Words of Life; the Words of the Lord. Truly, we are living in the age of spiritual giants.
            While we all stood there, Hannah asked if we would put the blanket on her that lay on the chair behind us. We eagerly agreed. “What an honor!” I thought. I felt privileged to be of some small service to my sweet friend. Rebekah, Brayden and I each grabbed a corner of the blanket and slowly let it descend over our friend so as not to bring her further pain by quick movement. For some reason I felt as if I were laying a priceless cloth over a beautiful queen in her royal bed. For within the time-frame of being in room 3531, Hannah seemed far more complete and much wiser than all of us. Indeed, James chapter one continues, “Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything”. Hannah was experiencing perseverance and it was making her mature and complete.
            During a pause in our dialogue, Hannah commented on her situation, “Life is short”. “A vapor”, her father concurred. Such comments are already first-fruits of the great testimony that is growing in Hannah’s life. It excites me, as I’m sure it excites all who were in that room, that God is doing mighty things in and through Hannah. She is a living testimony, as are all who are in Christ Jesus.
            The late great lover, Jimmy Brazell, once commented that such injuries and accidents like the one our dear friend Hannah was in are “Severe Mercies”. Severe in the obvious fact that it is a painful and often long experience, requiring much perseverance, but a mercy in the fact that God was most likely preventing Hannah from a much greater pain; perhaps a staleness in her relationship with God, or a quality that she ought to develop, or a lack of trust in God’s sovereignty. Another reason might simply be for the impact and forcefulness of Hannah’s life testimony. Who knows the motives of God but God Himself? Although none know, two things have been revealed to us: “God is good”, as Hannah stated, and He has a plan and a purpose for every occurrence, as Romans 8:28 reiterates.
            The time soon came for us to leave, so all three of us took turns praying for and over Hannah, asking that her pain would be minimal, that she would recover quickly, and that God would be glorified. What an honor it was to actually be there and pray over our dear friend. God was present.
            Rebekah left first, saying her fond farewell and exiting out the doorway of room 3531. I looked in the face of my friend and could tell she was exhausted. Her body had experienced much trauma and was longing for rest. I knew God would grant her rest eventually. I looked into her big brown eyes and told her that I was glad to see her and that I would keep praying for her. I squeezed her left hand, which was the only hand I could squeeze, and whispered, “goodbye”. I stood up- for I had been sitting down- and I began to leave. I looked back as Brayden was saying goodbye and took in the whole scene: the flowers, the white hospital walls, the bed, her father, her broken hand, the cast, her motionless right leg under the covers from her broken femur, and room 3531. Though she was in much pain and will be recovering for a while, I stand resolved and encouraged in this infinite truth:
            “God is good”.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Refinement

Im in Africa. There are no words to describe all the emotions I've had since I've arrived. There have been times where I've cried from the overwhelming feeling of lonliness. From being nowhere near familiarity. Finding nothing in this place that reminds me of home. But even in those times, He is God. Something my dad told me that has remained a comfort to me is "God is God of the whole world, not just the US." I am so thankful for that truth. Even in times where I feel alone, He remains. He is steadfast and unwavering. This trip as a whole has been an unbelievable test of faith, of trust in God.


Now if you read all of that you will probably come to the conclusion that I'm miserable and merely counting down the days to be home. Two days ago that would have been true. I did want to be home. I was counting down the days BUT one day something changed. I couldn't tell you what it was but something happened. Just when i felt like i would break, God showered me with his abundant love. He knows. He knows how much I can handle. That day, I had sent my parents a text saying, "Africa is insane, its definitely a new experience. I miss you guys alot! We are so helpless haha we just wait for someone to come and tell us what we are doing each day and never know when they are going to come. It's hard and I'm so out of my comfort zone so please be praying! I love you and I can't wait to be home!" BUT that day God loved us so well! We spent the day at the kirabo seeds orphanage and then moved on to the church village. At both places we read a story about Jesus being the Good Shepherd and then did sheep crafts. Althogether the day was filled with games and laughter. Exactly what Misha and I needed. Then later that night I recieved an unexpected call from my parents and got to hear all the voices of my sweet brothers and sisters! God is good.


Something Misha and I have started doing is keeping lists of things to remember: things phiona says, random noises outside our window at night, not so blessings (that will be funny later) and the one that i want to share with you OUR BLESSINGS.
~Being attacked by a crowd of children every time we arrive
~Beautiful views from the boda bodas
~Harriot cooking spaghetti (AMERICAN FOOD)
~Playing games with sheep puppets
~Simon says
~Dancing
~Teaching the TI wobble
~Finding corny Christian fiction novels
~Hot showers, toilets
~Phiona's boy advice
~Random calls from family
~American snacks
~Laughter
~Misha and Phiona and their friendship
~A group of ladies from Texas showing up at the baby home
~Instagraming things (even though we have no internet to post them)
~M&Ms
~Riding boda bodas
~Late night pillow talks with Misha


These blessings or simple joys have reminded us of how blessed we are in America and how well God loves us.

“In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” -1 Peter 1:6-7

Friday, January 27, 2012

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the Desires of your Heart.



As some of you know, I have always longed to go to Africa and be with these children. Seeing their faces litterally melts my heart and i cannot get over the fact that they need the love of Jesus so badly. This has always been a dream but hasnt started becoming a reality until now. I was always a little scared to tell my parents about my passion for africa because its expensive and i thought they would think that it wasnt wise to spend that much money on a mission trip while still in college but one day i was sitting on the couch with my mom and i told her. I told her all about the beautiful children there and how i long to be there and her response was one of complete support which was such a beautiful thing for me! She and my dad even started researching different organizations that i could go with and where i would stay, not just saying yes but actively seeking ways for me to go. And then one day a counselor on the timbers page posted about going to Uganda this summer asking for prayers and then presenting the opportunity for anyone else to sign up and i flipped! I looked at the website he posted and fell in love. I called him on the phone and we talked about all the details and legistics of the trip and i fell more and more in love with this opportunity. He then prayed over me and my decision and i was blessed beyond words through the power of God. and now, i present the request to you. that first, you would pray for me as i decide whether or not God has me here this summer. second, that he would provide the means for me to get there. and third that through it all, he would be glorified and through that humble and teach me beyond what i can imagine.

also, check it out at the website below:

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Forever Reign

You are good, You are good,
When there's nothing good in me.
You are love, You are love,
on display for all to see.

You are light, You are light,
when the darkness closes in.
You are hope, You are hope,
You have covered all my sin.

You are peace, You are peace,
when my fear is crippling.
You are true, You are true,
even in my wandering.

You are joy, You are joy,
You're the reason that I sing.
You are life, You are life,
In You death has lost its sting.

Oh, I’m running to Your arms,
I’m running to Your arms,
the riches of Your love,
will always be enough.
Nothing compares to Your embrace.
Light of the world forever reign.

You are more, You are more,
than my words will ever say.
You are Lord, You are Lord,
all creation will proclaim.

You are here, You are here,
in Your presence I'm made whole.
You are God, You are God,
of all else I'm letting go.

Oh, I’m running to Your arms,
I’m running to Your arms,
the riches of Your love,
will always be enough.
Nothing compares to Your embrace.
Light of the world forever reign.

My heart will sing no other Name,
Jesus, Jesus.

Oh, I’m running to Your arms,
I’m running to Your arms,
the riches of Your love,
will always be enough.
Nothing compares to Your embrace.
Light of the world forever reign.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Dont Waste Your Life by Lecrae

Dang I was listening to this song today and it really convicted me. What am I doing with my life? how am I using my energy, time, money, life for the glory of God? Am I? Or am I just simply wasting it on my own sinful desires? What are you doing? Are you wasting your life?

Verse 1
I know a lot of people that are scared they gon' die,
Couple of 'em thinkin' they'll be livin' in the sky
While I'm here livin' man I gotta ask why,
What am I here for I gotta figure out,
Waste my life, no I gotta make it count,
If Christ is real then what am I gon do about,
Everything in Luke 12:15 down to 21 ya really gotta go and check it out,
Paul said if Christ aint resurrected we wasted our lives,
Well that implies that our lives built around Jesus being alive,
Everyday I'm livin tryna to show the world why,
Christ is more than anything you'll ever try,
Better than pretty women and sinning and living to get a minute of any woman and men that you admire
It aint no lie!
We created for Him,
Outta of the dust he made us for Him,
Elects us and he saves us for Him,
Jesus comes and he raises for Him,
Magnify the Father, why bother with something lesser?
He made us so we could bless Him, (Bless Him)
To the world we confess Him,
Resurrects Him,
So I know I got life,
Matter fact better man I know I got Christ,
If you don't see His ways in my days and my nights,
You can hit my breaks you can stop my lights,
Man I lost my rights, lost my life,
Forget the money, cars and toss that ice,
The cost is Christ,
And they can never offer me anything on the planet that'll cost that price

Chorus
Don't wanna waste my life, life, life,
Don't wanna waste my life, life, life,
Don't wanna waste my life, life, life,
Don't wanna waste my,
Don't wanna waste my, (x2)
Don't wanna waste my life

Verse 2
Armed and dangerous
So the devil just can't hang with us
Christian youth they must stand wid us
Livin' n driven, given a vision, fullfillin the commission he handed us
London to Los Angeles
The rap evangelist
My daddy wouldn't abandon us
"I gotta back pack fulla tracts and I gotta Johnny Mac"
So are you ready to jam with us, so lets go
Gimme the word and lets go
Persecution lets go
Tribulation lets go
Across the nation let's go
Procrastination let's go
Hung on the cross in the cold
Died for da young and the old
Can't say you never know
Heaven knows
How many souls are going to hell or to heaven so we gotta go in and get em

Chorus

Verse 3
Suffer, yeah, do it for Christ,
You're tryna to figure out what to do with ya life,
You make a lot of money hope your doin' it right,
Because the money is God's, you better steward it right,
Stay focused, you ain't got no ride,
Your life ain't wrapped up in what you drive,
The clothes you wear, the job you work,
The color your skin, nah you're Christian first,
People think they livin for a job,
Make a little money start living for a car,
Get em a wife, a house, kids and a dog,
Then they retire, they living high on the hog,
But guess what? They didn't ever really live at all,
To live is Christ, and that's Paul I recall,
To die is gain and for Christ we give it all,
He's the treasure you'll never find in a mall,
See your money, your singleness, marriage, talents, your time,
They were loanin you to show the world that Christ is divine,
That's why it's Christ in my rhymes,
That's why it's Christ all the time,
See my whole world is built around Him,
He's the life in my lines,
I refused to waste my life,
He's too true to chase that ice,
Here's my gift and time,
'Cause I'm constantly tryna to be used to praise the Christ,
If He's truly raised to life,
Then this news should change your life,
And by His grace you can put your faith in the place that rules your days and nights.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The Power of the Gospel

Recently I decided to read back through my journal during my devo one afternoon and came across a place where Carrie, the girl who discipled me, and I went through tons of verses that "explained" so to speak, the Gospel.
--Romans 1:16-17
--2 Corinthians 5:18-21
--1 Corinthians 2:1-5
--Psalm 19:7
--Jeremiah 23:29
--Isaiah 55:10-11
--Pauls work--philippians 2:17, Galatians 4:19-20, Philippians 2:12-13, 2 Corinthians 12:14-18, 2 Corinthians 11:23-29, 2 Timothy 2;2, 1 Peter 3:15, and Acts 8:32-35
--philemon 1:6
THE GOOD NEWS--but as I was reading through these passages I was convicted of my apathy in sharing the Gospel to those around me. I don't seriously the fact that there are people going to Hell and I am just sitting around watching. The cool thing about this though was that the next day I had the opportunity to share the Gospel to my speech class and it was so sweet to see God's work in it! I just want to encourage you to step out in faith, share the Gospel, look to things of eternal significance (2 Cor 4:16-18). God will use you mightily if you only follow his calling in faith.

Praise the Lord, Oh my Soul

Wow. I feel like that is all I can say at the moment. I am overwhelmed by the sovereignty and goodness of God. Why He chooses to use a broken vessel like me for HIS glory is beyond me yet he coninues to amaze me through his work in and through me. I am truly humbled. Yesterday I was trying to decide on a topic for my persuasive speech today and my mind kept on wandering back to the topic of Salvation and wanting to share the Gospel to my teacher and classmates, but I, being the stubborn person that I am, tried to ignore that, move on, and find another "more suitable" topic but God had different plans. I couldn't seem to get the idea out of my head so I gave in to what God was doing. I wasn't at all worried about the outcome of the speech: God had given me the idea and I knew that he would be faithful to see me through. He did. This morning I woke up, did some last minute preparations and headed off to class. Little did i know what God had in store. Honestly I expected to be persecuted in some way because of the topic of the speech and the hostility most people have towards is. I was prepared to get a bad grade on my speech, get weird looks, and altogether a poor response. Never underestimate God. I went up to the front and began my speech. Verses I covered were John 3:16-18, James 2:10, Ephesians 2:8-9, and Psalm 5:4-7. Powerful truth. During the speech I actually saw interest and smiles, one girl was even tearing up. My speech teacher commented on a previous speech that I have a positive energy which draws people to me especially when I talk about things that I love and are important to me and that for sure came out today! I love seeing how God can use my personality and joy for Him for His glory and purposes! What a blessing! After my speech my teacher commented on the fact that he was so proud of me for stepping out in courage and for speaking on something im passionate about even though I knew that not everyone would agree but seeing that that didnt matter to me. He said that i balanced my passion with caution to not completely reject those with different beliefs: that I was gracious in my speech. 1 Peter 3:15 says, "but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence." What a blessing to see God accomplishing that today in me! Also, after class four people came up and said how much of a blessing it was to hear my speech and how much they enjoyed it and I am beyond convinced that God did work this morning. I am utterly amazed at the greatness of God and his sovereignty in every aspect of life. To God be the Glory for the great thing he has done. May his will be accomplished.